joke of the day

I have recently worked out that I know more lightbulb jokes than I can remember, most of them to do with musicians. So, to get them out of my system, I intend to post one every day, for your enjoyment and pleasure.
I also know many other musical jokes (mostly against violists. As a cellist I have no compunctions about this, having had to stomach sitting next to the viola section for the last five years of my life.....) so expect some of them too.

A bit of a theme today:

How do you get a violist to play a passage pianissimo tremolando?
Mark it "solo."

One against the cellists, just to show I'm not biased:

How do you get a 'cellist to play fortissimo?
Write "pp, espressivo"

And the promised lightbulb one - one of my favourites:

How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he'll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.

xxx