Agh, want to post about women who work as prostitutes but am so tired. Will post tomoz ho[peflly - if not I'll tell uou all how tired I am!

Still know this exists.....just!

Boy trouble, which oddly enough is not bothering me like it should. Had another dream about him last night where he tried to be arsey and jealous (something I have occasionally tried to provoke before, unsuccessfully) and I was having none of it. I think that if I'd remained asleep I'd have dumped him. This is turning into a recurring theme of my nocturnal imaginings. If he'd only give me a ring I might actually do it.
The thing is, I'm pretty much not bothered by anything he's doing/not doing atm. And when he does ring/come over, I'm faintly irritated by him. This to me sounds like the end of a relationship. Another thing is that I've stopped learning things from this relationship, which also suggests stagnation. Also the fact that I keep thinking about all the other people in this world who could make me feel special and loved DOESN'T smack of a long-term future with the current boy.

I'm particularly thinking of girls atm. I think that, back in the summer, the trigger switch for my latent lesbianism was well and truly pressed. I have subsequently bought a mini skirt, a waistcoat, a men's shirt, I've cut my hair very short and have discovered the joys of gothy eyeliner, I have started properly hanging out with my sister and the LBG lot and I've kind of fallen for a girl in college (only a light-hearted mini-crush! She is taken, you see). But it seems that I am no longer repressing the thoughts or trying to hide the fact that I find women as attractive as men :) and next time I want a girl!

Otherwise things this weekend were lovely. I had a 12hr day at work on Saturday and was put in charge of the whole kitchen in the evening, despite never having worked in the kitchen on an evening before! But it was very quiet so we spent most of the time doing crosswords. I came home to my mum's delicious fish in homemade batter and carrot+potato mash which was utterly DELICIOUS and is soooooo something I'm trying next term when I want to impress! (Maybe for whoever my sweetie is on Valentine's Day!) On Sunday the parents and I went to look at golf clubs. Yes. My mother took up golf for the sake of her shoulder, and then my dad wanted to try, and then I did. And now my shoulder hurts like mad! When we got back I got out a load of recipe books to leanr how to make sweets and things so I can be REALLY impressive and stop Chris going on about how wonderful Cat is! If we are still going out, that is.....I don't think the shoulder was helped by my painting the hall on Sunday evening either, but it was good fun and I had paint on the soles of my feet after!

Ok I go shower now, then maybe into town for ingredients for sweeties :D Peppermint creams, truffles, praline.....mmmMMMMMMMMM!

Argh catch up post

Potted history of last few days, mostly lifted from LJ:

"Monday 27th: Last Reel Club of term tonight - was merry and joyous and involved Schiehallion, which I possibly like EVEN MORE than the Eightsome Reel, although only because it involves Highland steps, although so does the Eightsome so I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe I was just enjoying dancing with Ron :D And the Eightsome was marvellous, I was a man and got to do proper Highland rocking step which I learnt this evening, with the arms and everything (because I was a man, you see)! And I called Silver Tassie without once referring to my crib because I am just funky hehehe!
Rocking step is so great! I can't wait for the Highland class next term (I think) and of course all the scottish classes at IVFDF! Woohoohoo! By this time next year I want to be able to dance the Highland Fling.....er, argh. Maybe. But I haven't been dancing Highland since I was in the crib (cradle?) so I probably won't be any great shakes at it :)

And afterwards I hurried across town to catch the end of the musical rehearsal at Peterhouse, only to discover that everyone apart from Chris and Rosie had buggered off about ten minutes before I arrived, but at least it gave me an excuse to get some cash out so I could go BACK across town and join the other Scottish dancers in the pub, where I ordered a large gin and tonic before regaling everyone with the story of the Anzu bird told in my own style, with reference to Augusta McMahon, who I intend to be when I am grown up.

I love the scottish dancers! They are lovely lovely nice people. Me and Isla talked for ages in the corridor afterwards and it's all lovely and happy and panto is happening tomorrow which will involve

saf2285

in her lovely PVC outfit and me groping her bum and general funness and joy, and then my first ever Molly dancing which WILL kill me, and then there's the Assyriology party tomorrow night which will include SPICED CIDER which is so much better than my essay on Early Dynastic burials.

Joy and sparkles! I have a feeling I may have sparkled a little bit tonight :) *warm happy glow, tinged with alcohol and a sadness that I won't be dancing for some time after this week :(*"

"Tuesday 28th: Hmm. I was a wee bit pished last night, even when I wrote that. Anyway, I want a bit of a scottish dance ramble so I am indulging myself :)

However, first of all, I have a blue elbow. This has come about by my absent-mindedly donning a shirt which had a blue ink stain in the elbow (don't know how it got there, since I don't own any blue ink pens) but now it won't wash off! Most peculiar :D

Dancing last night! We did Trip to Bavaria, which is always an entertaining choice especially as by this point almost EVERYONE is singing along! Last term we had only Donald singing, then I joined in, then Daphne, and last night there was a wonderful rousing chorus from the whole room, thoroughly entertaining the newbies who haven't done it before :D:D:D
And I love Schiehallion! It's a fantastic dance and I'm so proud that Ron asked me to dance it. Ron is the big man of the Reel Club, an expert in Scottish dancing and the guy who runs the Hugh Fosse Society, so his asking me to dance the most complicated dance in the programme with him was quite a compliment! And we had so much fun with the highland stepping :D
Yay for dancing and scottishness and fun and so on. And I'm going to Molly this evening! Argh!

Ow. Burnt tongue. Careless drinking of tea can cause pain."

"Tuesday 28th, evening: I have now officially entered the world of morris! I danced my first two molly dances tonight and I seem to have been drafted into the side for Warwick Folk Festival :-O Wowness! I have waited for this day for ages and ages - am so glad my ankle seems to have coped with tonight's exertions.

Wow! Morris! Molly! Oh, the excitement!

I am the happiest I've been in quite some time!"

"Thursday 30th: My hair is fluffy and still pinky purple, my toenails are blue (paint, not medically related) and my brain has been screwed over by reading stuff in the library and I'm generally losing track of everything!

Last night I got mistaken for a man by one of the Jimmy's guys - I think he made the mistake with a few other people but the fact I was wearing a suit helped, I suppose. It was funnier when he asked Bendy if he was a girl, but that wasn't serious. He was a great guy, he was called David Hill and he came and joined in with the dancing at the end and tried to feel up Chris (at least I think he did, I wasn't watching but the comment "I'm not that sort of girl" suggests something went on out there) and was just generally a star! They really enjoyed The Matrix though, it was lovely - and they all sang along to The One and Only :)

THEN I went to Clare and saw Mr Benjamin Lambert in a beautiful blue dress portraying God in the Clare Christmas Panto "Paradise Lost". Utterly hilarious. I especially liked The Messiah ("please can I be a real boy, please?") and Sin was tremendous. Gabriel was portrayed as a squeaky Kum-By-Yah-singing guitar-strumming American type ("my dyspepsia's never been so bad!" "I never knew my parents and really you need a father figure and *sob*") and I must confess I came away with just a bit of a crush on Satan - such a good actor and a wonderfully camp performance :D

And Wednesday night was the most exclusive dinner in Cambridge - the Assyriology Dinner - and it was amazing! Posty came up with the idea of setting us a crossword in our exam this year since we're only doing college exams! And there were some wonderful jokes and a ziggurat cake, and I cooked the main course and it was ALL EATEN UP! And the placemats were beautiful and Matthew tried to carve the picture from the Hammurabi stele on the top of one of the candles, and it looked amazing! Wooo!"

"Friday 1st (or maybe Saturday 2nd, it was late!): Tired. Now the Red Ribbon Ball is over I'm feeling drained and uninspired, and still I can't sleep. Maybe it's that I now have to face the end of term and the prospect of living at my parents' for 6 weeks. Maybe it's the thought of packing. Maybe it's exhaustion from feeling that I have to do everything by myself for myself, that I can't ask for or expect anything and the continual fear that all the good things will just crumble around me right when I've got them balanced out nicely. I wish there was somewhere safe I could go and forget about things for a while but there isn't and even Handel isn't lifting my spirits.
There's always a down after the ups, though, isn't there? I've had my fun this week, now it's the last night of the panto and the after-show party, which knowing me will end miserably. I just wish I didn't have to go home after all this. I'd rather be alone in Cambridge than in Leam with my family. It's so lonely."

"Saturday 2nd: Wow. No miracle worked by the fast jig but a bouree has done the trick! Wahey for french dancing in mini skirts!"

So that's that. Totally not looking forward to the aftershow party, but then again Helen will be there which is nice, and Saf has promised - indeed has demanded - to come and sit with me when/if I get sad, so I'm not totally screwed :) I love having nice friends who care! They make life such a joy.

Also, Bellowhead, "Frogs Legs and Dragons Teeth". WOW.